The Farmer in the Dell

    Have you ever thought of what the stereotypical farmer looks like? He is probably wearing boots covered in animal poop, and an old beat up straw hat. He probably has a big wad of chewing tobacco in his bottom lip or a long piece of straw sticking out of his mouth. His hands are rough, his skin is brown and weathered, his eyes are ringed with creases from squinting in the sun, and if you were to roll up his sleeve, you would find the skin under it to be as white as the driven snow. But most importantly, he is probably wearing bib-overalls (or “jakes”, as we called them when we were growing up, although I have no idea why). Now, it’s the overalls that are the important bit, because it is my opinion that, if you aren’t a farmer YOU SHOULD NOT WEAR BIB OVERALLS. EVER.

    I formed this opinion while I lived in Texas. We had “office work day” once a year, which meant that we were all supposed to help out with random landscaping tasks that weren’t otherwise handled by the groundskeepers. The same woman who had stood up in front of the office and read the dress code policy to us (thou shalt not wear tank tops), wore bib-overall shorts. With a tube top. Let me repeat that: WITH A TUBE TOP. Are your retinas burning with the imagined horror? Can you imagine actually seeing it IN PERSON??? I am scarred for life. Oh, the humanity!!

If you are under the age of three, you are exempt. If you are pregnant, I say, go ahead, if it makes you comfortable, but still. Really? Any other situation is inexcusable. Especially if they are bib-overall shorts, which is one of the biggest crimes against fashion that I can think of. (Don’t even get me started on the Royal Wedding hats. Except: What the??? And also: Can’t the royal family afford mirrors?)

If you are going to wear a tube top (crime against fashion #2) with those bib-overall shorts…. I will be forced to point and mutter under my breath. Because there is absolutely nothing redeemable about that particular fashion faux pas, and I can guarantee you that no self respecting farmer (or three-year-old) would wear a tube top, with or without the overalls.

In other news, here are the boys, doing laundry during the power-outage. They were rather excited about it, actually. If only they were this helpful when the power is on!


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