I’ve been searching the internet for vintage embroidery patterns. There are quite a few out there, and most fall into a couple of general categories: happy fruit; happy dishes; happy fruit AND dishes; Mexico; duckies, kitties and puppies; and His and Hers. There are some others, of course, but they aren’t incredibly varied. My favorite, by far, are the His and Hers sets. In fact, I like them so much, I’ve written a little story to go along with them:
“Oh honey, I have a date with Johnny tonight, and is he dreamy!”
“Thirty minutes ’til showtime!”
“Where’s that #%*&* towel!?!?!”
“Time to shave, la la la.”
“Why, oh why did I think I had time for hot rollers??”
“La, la, la, still shaving. I love how foamy this stuff is! Bet I can make a *foam* man…. Ha! That’s a good one! I gotta remember that so I can use it on my date tonight.”
“How on earth am I supposed to file my nails with this stupid toy boat? Rgh!!”
“I am one good looking guy! Rowr, rorw!!
“I knew I should have put on these dang panty hose before I did my nails!”
“Oh yeah, who’s going to the gun show.”
“Stupid zipper! RRRRGH!!! If this guy thinks he’s gonna get lucky, he’s got another think coming!!”
“Oh yeah…. I’m getting lucky tonight!”
See how the embroidery reflects real life? Awesome.
Edited to add: I forgot that I was going to make a pithy comment about how none of the people in the patterns seem to have elbows, but rather spaghetti arms, and I forgot. So that explains the title, which otherwise makes no sense. Actually, it still doesn’t make a lot of sense, I guess, but I couldn’t think of anything better.
In a Handbasket 
