I love you, I really do, but I’m afraid that the rest of Northern Alabama does not share that sentiment. (Actually, I think the majority of the continent is sort of tired of seeing you.) So, here’s the thing: I think we need to break up for awhile. I don’t want to be cruel you, but I’ve been seeing Sunshine on the side. He’s much warmer than you, and doesn’t cause 10 car pileups on the freeway. He’s been sending me little love notes – daffodils, crocus, tulips – and sadly, it’s time for you to move on.
I hear Australia is nice this time of year.